Booklist Reviews
Pipher, author of the classic Reviving Ophelia (1994), an analysis of teenage girls in the 1990s, turns her attention to women transitioning from middle to old age in her latest project. These women, who have spent their lives juggling careers and families, are now facing different challenges, including surviving health crises, adapting to changing bodies, searching for meaning in retirement, and maintaining a sense of self. Pipher contends that unless women make the effort to grow, they will be left with bitterness. She begins by examining the issues of loss, loneliness, caregiving, and ageism. In the subsequent section, Pipher suggests skills that will help women navigate these troubles, from seeking to truly understand themselves to revising life narratives to focusing on gratitude. She urges readers to form meaningful relationships with family and friends and to fight isolation by intentionally interacting with others. Pipher shares examples from many lives, including her own, but focuses in particular on four women who illustrate these important life lessons. This positive, affirming book will inspire and guide women facing these challenges. Copyright 2018 Booklist Reviews.
BookPage Reviews
Resolutions: New year, new you!
You've got goals, and we've got the books to help you achieve them. Tackle your resolutions with these 10 books.
The Formula: The Universal Laws of Succes
By Albert-László Barabási
RESOLUTION: Work better, not harder, to reach your goals.
FRESH TAKE: If life were a fair fight, talent plus work ethic is all you'd need to succeed—but we've all been passed over for opportunities we're qualified for. With this data-driven book, Albert-László Barabási explores the universal forces that affect our likelihood of success or failure.
GOOD ADVICE: The differences among top contenders in any category are so tiny that they're essentially immeasurable—which means wine connoisseurs only know so much, and a nice Pinot can come at any price.
Love for Imperfect Things: How to Accept Yourself in a World Striving for Perfection
By Haemin Sunim
RESOLUTION: Practice self-love (beyond just buying bath bombs).
FRESH TAKE: In this gentle, kindhearted guide to inner peace, the Zen Buddhist teacher Haemin Sunim argues that if one begins with self-acceptance, one will have greater empathy for others and an easier time adapting to life's trials.
GOOD AVICE: When beset with negative emotions, observe your own feelings and then try to trace them back to their roots. You might realize that a bad experience in your past or a subconscious insecurity is influencing your behavior.
How to Hold a Grudge: From Resentment to Contentment—the Power of Grudges to Transform Your Life
By Sophie Hannah
RESOLUTION: Embrace your negative side.
FRESH TAKE: Novelist Sophie Hannah believes that nursing one's grudges can lead to greater self-knowledge, personal growth and healthier boundaries.
GOOD ADVICE: By using Hannah's hilarious grudge-grading system, you can channel your angry feelings into a deeper understanding of your own values and set necessary boundaries.
No Hard Feelings: The Secret Power of Embracing Emotions at Work
By Liz Fosslien & Mollie West Duffy
RESOLUTION: Feel great about your work.
FRESH TAKE: Two former tech workers offer a fresh, funny approach to handling workplace relationships. By leaning on emotional intelligence, you, too, can navigate the pitfalls of modern office life.
GOOD ADVICE: Establish context and trust with colleagues by using "richer communication" channels like voice chat before relying on written, and often misinterpreted, methods like email and instant messages.
Life Admin: How I Learned to Do Less, Do Better, and Live More
By Elizabeth Emens
RESOLUTION: Overcome invisible labor.
FRESH TAKE: From disputing bills to planning a vacation, Elizabeth Emens introduces readers to the concept of admin, our sometimes onerous daily to-do list. Through relatable anecdotes, she breaks down the types of admin in our lives and offers advice on balancing tasks and relationships.
GOOD ADVICE: Talk with your partner about how to divvy up household duties before moving in together or getting married.
Women Rowing North: Navigating Life's Currents and Flourishing as We Age
By Mary Pipher
RESOLUTION: Chart the course for the next phase of your life.
FRESH TAKE: Women face many challenges as they age: misogyny, ageism and physical changes. Yet psychologist Mary Pipher shows that most older women are more content than their younger selves. Pipher offers warm, empathetic guidelines for navigating aging and for recognizing its unexpected gifts.
GOOD ADVICE: Every life stage is filled with pain and difficulties. The challenges and changes presented by aging are different, but they also present new ways to learn about yourself and cultivate empathy.
The Monkey Is the Messenger: Meditation and What Your Busy Mind Is Trying to Tell You
By Ralph De La Rosa
RESOLUTION: Finally get into mindfulness and meditation.
FRESH TAKE: Everyone knows we should be meditating, but what if your thoughts just won't shut up? Ralph De La Rosa draws on Buddhism, neuroscience and psychology to posit that instead of growing increasingly frustrated with these intrusive thoughts, we should accept them as a part of ourselves and use them as a tool to understand ourselves better.
GOOD ADVICE: Try not to allow circumstances to dictate your emotions. Instead, accept circumstances and view them as an opportunity for growth and learning.
Sober Curious: The Blissful Sleep, Greater Focus, Limitless Presence, and Deep Connection Awaiting Us All on the Other Side of Alcohol
By Ruby Warrington
RESOLUTION: Be more mindful of your alcohol intake.
FRESH TAKE: Going without alcohol may sound like an extreme lifestyle change and, frankly, a really dull one. But Ruby Warrington is here to tell you, nonjudgmentally, that cutting out alcohol doesn't mean you'll become boring, and it can lead to a happier life, filled with better sleep, health and relationships.
GOOD ADVICE: If you're worried about all the fun you'll miss out on while sober, remind yourself of the phenomenon known as "euphoric recall," in which an experience is misremembered in a far more positive light than the reality. That epic bachelor party five years ago? It perhaps wasn't as epic as you remember—but the hangover you're forgetting no doubt was.
Craftfulness: Mend Yourself by Making Things
By Rosemary Davidson & Arzu Tahsin
RESULTION: Pick up a creative hobby.
FRESH TAKE: Rosemary Davidson and Arzu Tahsin have crafted (sorry) a well-researched guide to the meditative, restorative and mood-lifting effects of working with your hands on a craft or creative pursuit. Filled with advice on how to let go of the pressure of Pinterest perfection, how to make time for crafting in your busy schedule and even a couple of quick beginner projects to get you started, this book is as warm as the scarf you'll be knitting.
GOOD ADVICE: For too long, we've all been focused on the finished product of our artistic pursuits, which can often lead us to abandon less than perfect-looking projects. But there's joy to be found in the process of making and mending, regardless of our perceived abilities.
If You Ask Me: Essential Advice from Eleanor Roosevelt
Edited by Mary Jo Binker
RESOLUTION: Sail through life with presidential aplomb.
FRESH TAKE: In 1941, the outspoken first lady Eleanor Roosevelt started an advice column. For 20 years, she doled out clever, pithy advice on love, etiquette and issues like gender and race equality. These lovely columns, collected and annotated by Mary Jo Binker, provide sound advice as well as a look into the life and thinking of a legendary first lady.
GOOD ADVICE: Roosevelt was adamant about gender equality in her personal life, writing that she thinks "people are happier in marriage when neither is the boss" and that all relationships are best built on "unselfishness and flexibility."
This article was originally published in the January 2019 issue of BookPage. Download the entire issue for the Kindle or Nook.
Copyright 2019 BookPage Reviews.Kirkus Reviews
A distinguished clinical psychologist and bestselling author examines the personal and social issues that aging women face in modern American society. For women in transition between late-middle and old age, life becomes more difficult. Loss, especially through death, becomes the new norm as women see their bodies and minds devalued by society. To help women navigate these late-life "turns in the river," Pipher (The Green Boat: Reviving Ourselves in our Capsized Culture, 2013, etc.) offers practical wisdom based on interviews, research, and her own experiences as a therapist and aging woman. In the first section, the author highlights "the challenges of the journey," which she illustrates with real-life anecdotes. As Pipher writes, TV, "movies, fashion, and advertising rarely reflect the needs and circumstances of older women." Women who formerly felt attractive experience a "crisis of confidence," and many women find their bodies becoming more limited due to illness or age. In the second section, Pipher focuses on "travel skills" women need to manage this part of the journey. The ability to accommodate change is key, as is creating a community of individuals with whom to communicate and deflect the isolation that too often comes with age. Reframing "situations in positive ways, being thankful, and giving to others" are also skills that can help ease the journey forward. In the third section, the author emphasizes the importance of relationships. Female friendships, in particular, can bring comfort and pleasure, and for those whose marriages have survived into old age, partners and families can become safe havens. But the most important relationship an aging woman has will always be with herself. As Pipher notes in the final section, one of the greatest gifts of old age is the loss of "false selves" carried earlier in the journey and the emergence of a whole and authentic self. Eloquently compassionate and sure to appeal to late-life women, Piph e r's book draws from a deep well of insight that is both refreshing and spiritually aware. Thoughtful, wise, and humane. Copyright Kirkus 2018 Kirkus/BPI Communications. All rights reserved.
Library Journal Reviews
Pipher entered the national psychological/literary stage with 1994's
Publishers Weekly Reviews
Pipher (